I am at the starting line again...
The obstacles and life’s challenges are staring me in the face.
Doubt and fear are pounding me like rain.
The failures of my past have come up from below, and have a strong grip on my feet.
The internal voice I hear is very clear.
As tempting as it is to stay, I cannot obey the voice. The voice of fear is no longer stronger than my faith.
“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.”
Brene Brown, Gifts of Imperfection.
Over the last 3 years I have been practicing (not always perfectly) making “faith-based decisions”. I choose to believe what looks impossible is possible.
Fear freezes us...Faith frees us.
Or as my Trader Joe’s greeting card I have at my work desk says,
“ Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows.”
When I say faith, I do not just mean in the spiritual sense (though that is the core of my personal source of faith). I also mean, faith in yourself...in your capability to achieve your goals.
This faith can also be called self-efficacy. If you believe you have the power to do the thing you are trying to do...then you will very likely be able to do it. However, if you think you will fail, you will likely let fear keep you frozen and stuck.
So what is different for me now?
A big part is knowing that I have achieved other big goals, that seemed terrifying at the time. I have years of successful experiences through high school, college, my 20’s, and most recently with my achievement of higher certification. Truthfully, I have endured many devastating failures...but I cannot focus on the dark. If you focus on the failure, you will squash your self-efficacy. In fact, enduring those failures, and seeing that you came out the other end with lessons learned, can give you a great boost in faith in yourself. But you must change the way you view risk.
“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. Faith alone defends. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.” Helen Keller, Let Us Have Faith
My new race for the rest of the year is in developing what Mai Trainer is. What is it that I can offer to the world, while maintaining my health and relationships? I have the plan...but it doesn’t mean it will work. All I can do now is trust that I have prepared for the race. Even if I “lose” I will still win...because I started...because I believed I could make 22 year old Maile’s dream come true.
The only fear you should have is of not trying...of not believing you have what it takes to be successful.
I invite you to run the race with me.
I invite you to become the strongest version of yourself.
There will be obstacles.
There will be doubt and fear pummeling us.
There will be the ghosts of our past grabbing at our heels.
But when we make it through the race...even if the end result is not everything we had hoped...we will come out stronger. Achieving that new level of strength is a great victory along this journey.
I invite you to feel the freedom and strength of choosing faith over fear.